Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Wow...Eric Milligan is a MORON

Wow...could this guy be any more clueless-this just screams clueless bandwagon celebrity fan. Way to make a fool of yourself Eric.


I Miss the Jail Blazers
I'm hurtin, Johnny. I'm hurtin.
ISHAOSLKAHSKLAHGSKUASGUAKSGAU!Rasheed for THREE and the Pistons defeat the Heat!! That's what just took place on my 37 inch LCD high definition television. And it makes me so frickin mad. With a ring on his finger, Mr. Wallace is a major player on a team with an impressive 24-3 record. Meanwhile, Damon Stoudamire is helping his Memphis Grizzlies to one of the best records in the Western Conference. A week and a half ago, the teams battled each other through two overtimes in one of the more exciting games this season. At the end of the first OT, Mighty Mouse flipped an impressive pass to Pau Gasol for a game tying dunk. With about three minutes left in the 2nd overtime, Damon Stoudamire made a difficult running layup to give the Grizzlies a two point lead. Twenty-two seconds later, Rasheed Wallace knocked down a three pointer to put his boys back on top.It was a big fun game and the former Portland Trail Blazers were major players. As if I didn't feel worse enough already, Rasheed Wallace and the Pistons then thumped my Blazers the following night.I feel robbed. I miss the Jail Blazers.And it pisses me off that anyone cared that the media called us that. It was cool. It was something for journalists to write about. Look, there have been a ton of NBA players who have been arrested over the past few years. The idea that the Blazers had more problems than the rest of the league was merely something drummed up by media types because, as it would have it, Trail happens to rhyme with Jail.All of this hysteria ultimately led to a belief that the Blazers had to cleanse their image and get rid of the "cancer," as some put it. Those "some" looked foolish, though, when one of the cancers helped a team win a championship only MONTHS after the Blazers sent him packing.And you know what? Who cares that they called us the Jail Blazers? Nowadays, they don't call us anything. We're a losing team and we don't matter.It makes me so mad. Damon and Rasheed have taken their exciting brand of winning basketball to Tennessee and Michigan and us fans in Oregon are left with a farm team. Yep. A farm team. The Rose Garden has become a showcase joint where players like Martell Webster and Sebastian Telfair are being given the opportunity to show off their wares to other teams so that they can get the hell out of town and get paid. (It's also become a place where players can coast for millions of dollars earned by a few months of good play- I'm not naming names, but prove me wrong, guys. Prove me wrong.) Hey, I'd love to be a little less cynical but our very own GM predicted only 20 wins for this team, giving up before the season even began.Yo, I even miss Bonzi Wells. That guy was inconsistent as hell. He wasn't on every night- who on the current Blazers is?- but when he WAS on, he was awesome. And he and Rasheed had a special chemistry that I'll forever miss. Yes, the team was combustible but only because they played with passion. Bonzi and Sheed's Blazers frustrated us but they never bored us.They also set franchise records. No Portland Trail Blazer has ever scored more points in a playoff game than Wells (45). And no Blazer has scored more in a regular season game than Stoudamire (54). Okay, so Wallace has the record- league record, in fact- for technical fouls in a season, but he has proven time and time again that he worth that hassle. His Pistons currently have the league's best record and they wouldn't have it without him. And when they won the championship in 2004, his teammates and coaches all said that he was the difference. As I write this column, ESPN (the TV is on ESPN right now cuz after the Pistons won, I flipped the channel in time to catch the Oregon Ducks blow the Holiday Bowl) is talking about how good the Pistons are and they are showing clips of Sheed passing, dunking, and swishing threes.When, in the fall of 2003, the Blazers started to seriously consider trading Rasheed Wallace for players of lesser value, I wrote (in my column for that doing so would very likely result in 10 years of lotto. Despite my warning, the Blazers then traded him for a has-been-never-really-was center with shoulder problems and a player who loses whenever and wherever he plays the game of basketball. To make matters WORSE, they then signed the former, a Mr. Theo Ratliff, to a flat out stupid contract extension and then let the latter leave the team for nothing. In return for Rasheed Wallace, the Blazers wound up with 4.1 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 1.6 bpg, 2.4 fpg, and a $33 million bill to pay for it. We've gone lotto for two years straight and a third year is looking likely with no relief in sight.In theory, we apparently tore up the team because that old group of guys wasn't going to win it all. Well, yo, these new guys aren't gonna win it all either. My money says that when the Blazers next win a championship, not ONE of the current Blazers will be on the roster, Nate McMillan won't be the coach, and John Nash won't be the general manager.Look. I haven't given up on the Blazers. I just can't help but feel that they've given up on me. Prove me wrong, Mr. Nash. Prove me wrong.KingSpeedP.S. Splash, I hit a three and scored my first points in the NBAE two Sundays ago. We lost the game, which sucks, but I'm glad to have that 0-fer monkey off my back. Peace.


At 12:01 PM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

A guy from Springfield who calls himself "King of Speed" isn't anyone to be taken seriously. Meth heads are never to be trusted.


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